I Will Not Give Up

My body hasn't quite been up to snuff for the past year or so. I was having serious tendon issues in my feet last summer, so I went to the podiatrist & got custom inserts. Cool. The day I got them, I went for a small run and tore something in my knee (that was end of October). Limping & physical therapy followed for a few months, then I was back to running, having to start all over again. Fine. We got a second kid for a while, I ran when I could, and I was slowly getting better, then I broke my toe. sigh 

So today was my first official run post-toe-break 6 weeks ago. And it kind of sucked. I was only doing one minute splits, and I was huffing in the heat. My toe was sore, and my RunKeeper program stopped in the middle, so I counted out my splits on my own. I walked a lot. I always walk a lot and run very slowly. I've "re-started" my running career so many times over the past few years. I'm still slow & it still sucks. But you know what? I don't quit. I'm not good at it, but I still (eventually) get my fat butt off the couch and run.it.out.
And even at the end of a poky, sucky run, sweaty and chubby, I feel damn sexy. I hold my head high because I did it. I will not give up.

Thankful

Howdy. It has been a long, long time since I've written here. Since about July 2011 through now, I haven't been doing a ton of running due to one injury or another. First there was some wicked tendonitis on the tops of my feet. I saw a sports podiatrist who gave me some exercises to do & I also got custom inserts. Hooray.

With the exercises & some rejiggered Super Feet inserts, I made it through the Rock n' Roll Half Marathon in San Jose on 10/3, but it wasn't pretty. I was still in a lot of pain & hadn't been able to train enough to make it a good race. I finally got my custom inserts at the end of October. On the 27th, I was going for my first run with the inserts. I was on a trail that I knew, it wasn't hard, and I wasn't pushing myself too hard, but when I went to dodge a pothole, while my foot was still in the air, I felt a pop in my knee. There was no running back to the car at all. I thought I had torn something, but an MRI showed no tear, so I just went to physical therapy for a few months.

It seems that the foot issues & the leg/back/knee issues I've had over the years are all related (who knew?), so I was actually glad to be addressing things, hoping I'd nip it all in the bud. It has taken a lot longer than I wanted it to or expected, and things aren't as perfect as I'd hoped, but I'm getting there. If I had needed surgery, it would have been at least 6 months of recovery afterwards.

I've slowly moved from elliptical only (barf) with no resistance, to some resistance, to taking "brisk" walks outside or on the treadmill with bursts of fast walking. It has been almost 6 months since the knee pop, and I ran for the first time 2 days ago. I haven't been to physical therapy in about 2 months, and my therapist told me not to even think about running until I had been pain-free for a month, but I just couldn't quite do it. I'd say I had a couple weeks pain-free (meaning no "Oh, my Lord! My knee is going to break!" moments or days where I just want to ice my knee, have Seth rub it, and I cry), but then had another "Oh, crap!" day. But I've been doing little pre-running things like jumping and just barely-not-running times in my walks on the treadmill, so I thought it was time. A little competition (even in my own mind) doesn't hurt, either. I ran into some people I knew at the gym the other day, so of course, I wanted to run instead of just walking on the treadmill.

So after a warm-up and a few rounds of 4.2 mph walking, I decided to try the jog. Just 4.3 for 30 seconds. And it was great. I walked for 3 more minutes then decided to try it again. I wasn't hurting, so I planned on just repeating that for a while. It was VERY difficult to not push it too far, so I kept telling myself what I needed to do and that I do NOT want to be injured again/longer. I focused on my stride, being sure my feet weren't rolling, I wasn't pounding, and I crouched a tiny bit, while still keeping my torso long. I did end up shortening my walk breaks to 2.5 minutes, but I stayed at 30 seconds of running. I did that until I had about 5.5 minutes of running total, then I noticed that I was at 2.9 miles. Well, I might as well do a 5k, right? Of course. So, I may have been dumb. I ran out the last .2 miles, which ended up being 2 minutes, which may have not been the smartest thing I've ever done, but it didn't come back to bite me.

So, 7 minutes or so of running out of 50, and I felt good. My knee was definitely sore and very stiff, so I've been icing & stretching a lot. Yesterday, I just went on the stationary bike for 30 minutes or so. My knee was definitely stiff, but the bike didn't really hurt. Then today, I did an outside run for the first time in almost 6 months. The dog & I walked down to the creek, and I let myself run for 30 seconds at a time for only 3 minutes total, with 3 minutes of walking between runs. Oh man, was it hard to not do more, but I am really trying to be smart about this. I wanted to run more, but I was outside and it didn't hurt, so I'm happy. The tendons on the back of my knee were pretty tight, but no sharp pain or real aching.

I've signed up for The Color Run on July 14th, and I wasn't sure if I'd be walking or running, but I think I'll be running, which is a lovely thought. I'm going to find a good training plan and stick with it, so I hope that I can do a half this fall and actually get a PR. If I'm smart & listen to my body, I'm pretty sure I can do this. Here's to trying to get into Nike this year!

Thoughts on Bikram yoga from the POV of a noob.

Today was my 2nd day attending Bikram yoga, and some people were curious about it, so I thought I'd tell you a few things to help you make your decision.

The first thing you notice when you walk in the room is that it is a little bit stinky.  Not horrible, and not like crotch or b.o., but just not fresh.  You get used to it, though, over the 90 minutes.

It is really, stinking hot.  I think it was 106 degrees in there.  My knees were sweating quite quickly, as was every part of my body, along with everyone else.  Seriously- your clothes get completely soaked, as does the towel you put down on your mat.  For this reason, it is advised that you wear as little clothing as possible. 

The thing is, though, that I didn't feel gross at all.  It's not a gross stench like after running.  It just feels cleaner.

Yesterday, I had to talk myself out of running out of the room after about 45-50 minutes due to feeling queasy.  The combination of drinking too much water and working out in that heat just made me feel creepy.  I just sat down and breathed a bit, then got back into the flow.  I had to sit down a bit today, too, but I didn't feel the overwhelming need for cold air like I did yesterday.  And today, I didn't feel gross as quickly. 

How do I know?  Because you do exactly the same 26 postures for 90 minutes every time.  That is Bikram yoga.  There are other people who do "hot yoga" and they can do whatever they want, but there's a whole trademark issue, blah blah over "Bikram."  At first, I thought I would be bored doing the same thing every day, but I think it will be good.  I'll be able to easily track my changes & progress, like today's lasting a bit more. 

But?  It is HARD.  Hard.  Difficult.  I was sore last night & I'm sore now.  My neck is sore, people.  Some of the poses I am nowhere NEAR being able to do, I surprised myself with others, and some were hard mostly due to being so slippery with sweat. 

Do I recommend it?  Heck, yes.  If you don't like it at first, keep going.  I'm shooting for 5 days a week for this month, which I got for cheap.  After that?  Who knows?  I really can't afford to keep going, so hopefully this will just address some of the tight & hurty spots I have in my body, and then I can continue with other yoga after this month. 

Running is going well

Today's run was good, even though it was a bit wonky.  I was feeling overwhelmed and needed to run & think & talk to God, so I put Underwood in the car & we went to the creek.  When we got there I realized that I forgot my watch, so my splits were going to be a bit random/haphazard/whathaveyou. 

Being in a bit of a funk, I wanted to listen to music and run a bit farther than usual, but I knew that I also needed to interact with God, so instead of putting on my usual tunes, some of which are quite angry, I listened to KLOVE the whole time.  I didn't turn it off once, and I even listened to cheesy songs.  I just needed to worship and be outside and move and get happy.  Thankfully, they even played one of my fave running songs, "O Praise Him" by the David Crowder Band. 

I've been doing pretty well with my splits lately.  I've been mixing together the Galloway method and some Chi running technique, so I keep telling myself "slow and loose, slow and loose!" when I'm running. Today, I had a water bottle in my hand, though, which doesn't lend itself to a relaxed upper body.  It may be time for a fuel belt, since I plan on starting to train again for races, which means longer runs and more water needed. 

Since my running has been getting better, I'm noticing that I'm not looking at my watch so often, waiting for the split to be over.  Quite often, I end up running over the time, since I don't have a beepy noise to tell me when to walk.  That's why I didn't feel so off about not having my watch today:  I knew that my body would do what it needed to do.  I'm sure that some of my splits in the beginning were longer than they should be (on the running side) and that they likely turned around a bit to be longer on the walking side on the way back.  But my pace wasn't too bad (not fantastic) and I'm glad that I went out.

I have a little bit of tingly/bratty feeling on the left shin, which isn't the one that normally bothers me, but I also know that it may be new shoe time, and I bumped up my mileage a bit, so I'm not too concerned.  Depending upon how the shin feels tomorrow, I may run again instead of going to the gym. 

Finally, I get something into my thick head

I started to finally realize this week that I just cannot run when it's hot out.  It just sucks all the energy out of me and it sucks.  Not every time, because I have had days where I just wanted to run and did it anyway and was glad that I did, but if I had kept track of pain, I'm sure that I didn't feel too hot after those runs.

My other two runs this week sucked.  They sucked.  Big toes.  Suckage.  Monday I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill, which is normally faster than real life, but not this time.  And it hurt a lot.  I was about falling asleep I was so beat down by the time I was cooling down.  Wednesday, I went to the track and it was just too hot.  I hurt as soon as I started running, which is odd for a pleasantly squishy track, so I aborted after a mile and a half.  I just walked after that. 

But tonight?  I realized that it would do me no good to go during the day, so I went out around 7:30, and it was actually chilly when I started.  I almost regretted not wearing long sleeves, but knew I'd get over that quickly.  If I can wander around San Francisco at 4:30 in morning in shorts and a t-shirt, I can run in the evening here. 

As soon as I started the run, I felt different.  I felt really tall today and strong.  My stride was great and I was just trucking.  I tried to hold back a little bit, but I'm not really good at that yet.  I need to work.  When my body wants to fly (my brand of flying, not comparative flying) I want to let it!  But that's why I was a little bit slower on the way back, but it was still great.  I'm just really happy.

The Summer of Success

Today was my first day back to running after 2 weeks off due to shin splints.  I hadn't expected it to be very good, but I was just itching to run.  My sister and I were at my lovely park, and I had to do it.  I forgot to put on my compression sleeves, and it was freaking hot, but my body was just feeling speedy.  I tried to make myself go a little slower, but I just got a good time.  I'm really in love with the 1 minute splits.  They make everything better. 

Since my shins keep complaining, and I'm not training for a race right now, I'm not going to do any long runs.  I'm just going to do 30 minute runs three times a week. 

I'm planning on doing my next race in February, and I'd also like to do the Avenue of the Giants Half, and either Nike or the San Jose RnR Half.  So I'll start training again in November, and hopefully my legs will be ready to push it.

Um...that was fun.

The scene:  It's a lovely, sunny day, I'm in shorts & a t-shirt.  I've just pulled my pink Zensah sleeves out of the dryer & I'm ready for a nice run with the dog. 

Though my body isn't being spectacular, I'm still having a good run.  As usual, Underwood is off leash, but I put him back on when another dog is near.  Sometimes I'm okay with him going in the creek- mostly when it's hot out- but I don't want him to today.  Every time he veers towards or looks at a trail going down to the water, I tell him "Nope!" and he turns away and stays on the trail.  MARVELOUS! 

This goes on for almost the whole run.  It's great!  I'm already composing my tweet in my head.  "Great run and successfully kept dog out of the water for an hour!"  I try to refrain from boasting aloud because I don't want to jinx it, but I do finally tell him how good he's being.  We're very chummy.

A dog we've seen two other times comes by, with his owner riding a bike.  I put Underwood on leash for a minute while they move away from us.  He's pretty tired by now, so I don't think he'll run after them when I let him off again.  I am so, so terribly wrong. 

46 minutes into the run: He goes tearing off after the dog, but then, not surprisingly, takes a sharp turn down to the creek.  I figure I'll catch up to him in a minute, but I start to run again instead of walking.  I get to the point where he went down:  no Underwood.  I call him and call him, but I can't see him.  Now?  I'm worried, but I'm holding it together.  The creek is pretty full and rushing a bit, but he's a lab, c'mon.

I keep calling him and keep jogging a bit, but he's not running up like usual and I can't hear him.  I'm starting to freak out a little bit. 

**changing to past tense because this whole present tense thing is bugging me**

Finally, I heard a little yip, and I freaked out.  I started booking it back to where he went down, but still didn't see him.  I put down my stuff (mp3 player, keys, leash) and started scrambling down the bank.  I don't see him out in the creek, and I'm calling him and calling him, and now I'm crying and calling him.  I tried to ease down closer to the water so I could grab a tree and lean out and try to see him, but it's all too slippery and my leg just fell into the water up to my knee.  I was crying and calling him and sobbing like an idiot, sure that my dog was going to drown.  Then I couldn't get back up the bank for a minute because it was so muddy. 

I finally got out of the water, wiped my nose on my shirt and started running down the other way, looking for a better place to get down.  Oh, and I was talking to him the whole time, as if he were a person.  "Where are you?  Are you in the bushes?  I'm coming!"  I wasn't sure if he was trying to get to me and was stuck in the blackberry bushes, so I kept calling him, trying to encourage him.  I was extra worried because, really, in this whole time I had only heard him 2 or 3 times. 

I found another sort-of way down and started climbing down over mostly smashed blackberry bushes.  I got close to the water, but still didn't see him.  I heard him barking some more, so I grabbed a stick to help me over the mud & to move thorns out of my way.  I started heading along the creek, expecting to have to dive into the blackberry bushes to get him out. 

Down a little way, I tried again to get close to the water and look, but it wasn't working, so I just stepped right in again.  I was trying to psych myself up to just go out into the middle of the creek & look, but I was scared.  It was moving and I didn't know how deep it was and what kinds of branches & stuff were underwater.  I could tell that he was near, so I threw the stick I had out into the water and told him to get it.  Thankfully, his instincts kicked in again and I heard him start to swim.  I tell you, I was so very relieved.  I was still quite afraid.  So, it took him longer than I thought, but he finally came into view swimming along the side, and I grabbed him when he came near me. 

Of course, he was able to just hop right out, but I had to work for a couple minutes to get out of the water and up the muddy hill.  I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to just sacrifice my hands and grab onto a blackberry bush for leverage.  I was able to grab a tree and get out, and we squished our way back onto the trail. 

Part of me was all bummed and annoyed, thinking, "Oh, great!  I can't run the rest because my shoes & legs are all wet."  But then I just decided to pretend I was training for the Warrior Dash and did my normal walk/run thing.  I was wet, I had dirt all over my arms and legs, and blood and welts on my legs from the blackberry thorns.

Underwood, of course, immediately forgot that he had been in any sort of traumatic situation and even while I was still climbing up the bank, started to head back into the water because he had found a ball and then dropped it. 

So, he'll be on leash for a while, which is really just punishing both of us, because I don't like running with him on leash.  At least until the creek gets lower, though.  I don't need this again. 


In sum:  4.18 miles.  I almost had a negative split, but it didn't work out.  Maybe next time.  And trauma-free.